Am I Drinking Too Much? How to Tell When Drinking Has Become a Problem

I work with people around alcohol most weeks. Some come in sure they have a problem. Others come in for something else, like stress or sleep or a relationship, and alcohol turns out to be sitting underneath it. Very few people wake up one day and decide they drink too much. It builds slowly, one normal-looking week at a time.

This post is about how to tell when drinking has stopped being a habit and started being a problem. It is also about what help actually looks like, because a lot of people picture something far worse than the reality.

I am Allan Bunyan. I am a registered counsellor and I run Strong Foundation Support here in Cairns. I see private clients and NDIS participants, in person and by telehealth across Australia. You can read more about how I work on my addiction counselling page. None of what follows is medical advice. It is what I have learned from sitting with people who drink more than they want to, and from the evidence that guides this work.

What counts as too much

Australia has clear national guidelines on this. The National Health and Medical Research Council says a healthy adult should drink no more than 10 standard drinks a week, and no more than 4 on any one day.

A standard drink is 10 grams of pure alcohol. That is the part that catches people out. A schooner is more than one standard drink. A restaurant glass of wine is often about one and a half. A generous pour at home can be two. So the count in your head is usually lower than the count in the glass.

You are not alone if you are over the line. In 2022, about 26 per cent of Australian adults drank more than the guideline. That is over five million people.

Going over the guideline does not mean you are an alcoholic. It means the risk goes up. The guidelines are an upper limit, not a target. But if you are well past them, week after week, that is worth paying attention to.

The part that stays hidden

Alcohol carries a bigger health cost than most people think. In Australia it is linked to more than 4,000 deaths and around 70,000 hospital stays every year. A lot of that harm is slow and quiet. High blood pressure, broken sleep, low mood, liver strain and a raised cancer risk build up in the background, long before anything looks like a crisis. You can be well short of a crisis and still be doing yourself harm.

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How drinking creeps up

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Most of the drinking I see is not dramatic. It is a beer to take the edge off after work that becomes three. It is a bottle of wine across a weeknight that used to last two nights. It is the drink that helps you sleep, until it is the only thing that helps you sleep.

Alcohol works in the short term. That is the catch. It does calm you down. It does quiet a busy head. So the brain learns the shortcut, and the shortcut gets easier to reach for. Over time you need a bit more to get the same result, and the days without it start to feel harder than they should.

Stress speeds this up. Grief speeds it up. Physical pain, money worry, a job you dread, all of it. Alcohol becomes the tool for a feeling you do not have another way to handle yet. The drinking is rarely the whole story. It is usually pointing at something.

Signs it has become a problem

There is no single test. But here are the patterns I hear again and again.

You drink more than you planned to, most times you drink. You have tried to cut back and it has not held. You think about it during the day, or you feel relief when you know it is coming. You need more than you used to. You drink alone, or you hide how much. Mornings are rough. You promise yourself Monday to Friday and break it by Wednesday.

Then there is the honest gut feeling. A lot of people already know. They have known for a while. They just have not said it out loud to anyone. If some of that lands, it does not mean you are broken. It means the drinking is doing a job, and it might be time to look at what that job is.

Why people do not reach out

This is the part I understand well, and not only as a counsellor. I use a wheelchair, and I have a physical difference in my arms and hands. I have spent a lot of my life being judged before I was heard. So when someone tells me they are scared of the look they will get the moment they admit something, I get it.

People do not stay quiet about drinking because they are weak. They stay quiet because they are afraid of the reaction. They think a counsellor will lecture them. They think they will be told to stop and made to feel like a failure. They picture a rehab bed and a label they will carry forever. That fear keeps people stuck longer than the drinking ever would.

What counselling actually looks like

I do not lecture. I do not sit there with a checklist deciding how bad you are. My job is to understand the drinking with you, not at you.

We look at what alcohol is doing for you right now. What it takes the edge off. When the urge is strongest. What was going on the last time you drank more than you meant to. From there we work on other ways to handle those moments, so alcohol is not the only tool in the box.

For some people the goal is to stop. For others it is to cut back to something safer. I do not decide that for you. We work out what change looks like for your life, and we go at a pace you can hold.

You do not have to hit rock bottom to come in. You do not have to have a story that sounds bad enough. Wanting to drink less is a good enough reason on its own. If you want a feel for the practical side first, I have written about what to expect from addiction counselling online, and about paying for it through your plan in can you use your NDIS plan for addiction counselling.

What the first session is like

The first session is mostly about getting the full picture and taking the pressure off. You tell me what has been going on, in your own words, and I listen. There is no breathalyser and no scorecard. I will ask about how much you drink and when, but only so we both understand the pattern, not so I can judge it.

By the end of a first session most people feel a bit lighter, because they have finally said the thing out loud to someone who did not flinch. We also set a first small step. Not a total overhaul. One thing you can actually do before the next time we talk. Change that sticks tends to be built out of small steps, not big promises.

One safety note

If you drink heavily every day, do not stop all at once on your own. Sudden alcohol withdrawal can be dangerous, and for some people it is medically serious. Talk to your GP first, or call the hotline below. Cutting down safely can mean doing it in steps, with support.

Where to get help

If you want to talk to someone right now, the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline is free, confidential and open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1800 250 015. They can also point you to services in your state.

Counselling Online is another free national service if you would rather type than talk. The Alcohol and Drug Foundation also has clear, plain information if you want to read more before you do anything.

If you would like to work with me, you can book a session or get in touch through my contact page. I see people in Cairns and across Australia online. You can start small. You do not have to have it all worked out before you reach out.

The first honest conversation is usually the hardest one. After that, it tends to get lighter.

Written by Allan Bunyan, CPCA — counsellor at Strong Foundation Support, Cairns. Allan works with adults and young people aged 14 and over, in person in Cairns and via telehealth across Australia

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