Counselling for Support Workers: When the Job Starts Taking Too Much

Support work is hard. Most people outside the sector have no idea how hard.

You help people shower, eat, take their medication and get through their day. You deal with behaviour that can be frightening. You see people at their worst, and sometimes at the end of their life. Then you drive home, and nobody asks how your shift went.

I've worked in the disability sector since 2018. I started as a support coordinator, and I've worked alongside a lot of support workers since. I've seen good people burn out, go quiet, and leave jobs they were great at because nobody noticed what it was doing to them.

This post is for support workers who are carrying more than they let on.

What support workers carry

A lot of what you deal with doesn't show up in a shift report.

You might be supporting someone whose behaviour includes hitting, biting or yelling. You might have been hurt, and then gone back the next day to support the same person. You might be the only person in someone's life who turns up, and feel responsible for everything that goes wrong for them.

There's also the pressure from the job itself. Short staffing. Last-minute shifts. Rosters that change without warning. Travel between clients with no time to eat. Paperwork on top of it all. Worrying about what happens to your client if you call in sick.

And there's the emotional side. You get attached. You care about the people you support. That's what makes you good at the job. It's also what makes it hurt when things go badly.

Signs it's building up

Burnout doesn't usually happen in one go. It creeps in. Some signs to look out for:

You can't switch off after shifts. You're still thinking about a client when you're trying to sleep.

You dread going to work, even for clients you used to enjoy.

You feel numb, flat, or like you're just going through the motions.

You're snapping at people at home more than you used to.

You're tired all the time, even after days off.

You keep replaying an incident in your head.

You've started to feel resentful of the people you support, and you feel guilty about it.

You're thinking about leaving the sector, but you don't know what else you'd do.

If a few of these sound familiar, it doesn't mean you're bad at your job or not cut out for it. It usually means you've been giving a lot for a long time without much going back in.

Why support workers don't ask for help

In my experience, support workers are very good at looking after other people and not great at looking after themselves.

Some of the reasons I hear most:

"Everyone else is coping, so I should be too."

"It's just part of the job."

"If I say I'm struggling, my manager will think I can't handle it."

"I don't want it to get back to work."

"I can't afford it."

"I don't even know what I'd talk about."

All of these make sense. But holding it all in tends to make things worse, not better. And the worry about your employer finding out is something I'll come back to below, because it matters.

When a client dies

This one doesn't get talked about enough.

If you've supported someone for months or years, you know them well. You know their routines, their jokes, what they like for breakfast, what upsets them. When they die, it's a real loss.

But support workers often aren't treated as grieving. You might not be invited to the funeral. You might be expected to pick up a new client the following week. People around you might not understand why you're so affected. After all, "it was just work."

It wasn't just work. Grief for a client is still grief, and there's no set timeline for how long grief can last. Counselling can give you a place to talk about the person, the loss, and anything you're left feeling, including guilt about whether you could have done something differently.

If this is what you're dealing with, my grief counselling page has more on how I work with loss.

After an incident

Incidents are part of the job, but that doesn't make them easy.

It might be an assault, a fall, a medical emergency, a police callout or finding a client unwell. Afterwards, there's usually paperwork, maybe an investigation, and then you're expected to carry on.

It's common to feel shaky, on edge or not quite yourself for a while after. You might replay what happened, question your decisions, or feel anxious about going back to that client or that house. That's your body doing what it's built to do, and it helps to understand why your body reacts the way it does. For some people it fades in a few days. For others it sticks around.

Talking it through with someone outside your workplace can help you make sense of it, without worrying about how it looks to your team leader. If the anxiety is sticking around, my anxiety counselling page explains how I work with that.

What counselling can help with

Counselling for support workers isn't about being told to do more self-care or have a bubble bath. It's a space to talk honestly about what the job is doing to you, and work out what might help.

Some of the things we might work on:

Burnout and exhaustion, and what's taking the most out of you.

Not being able to switch off after work.

Grief after losing a client.

Stress or fear after an incident.

Guilt, frustration or resentment you don't feel you can say out loud at work.

Boundaries with clients, families and employers.

Whether you want to stay in the job, change roles or leave the sector.

What's going on outside work that's making the job harder.

A lot of support work involves things you can't control. Part of counselling is sorting out what you can actually change and what you need to stop carrying.

You don't need to have it all worked out before you come. We start with whatever feels most pressing.

Why I understand the job

I'm not a counsellor who's only read about disability support. I've worked in the NDIS since 2018, including as a support coordinator. I know what rostering chaos looks like, what a hard family meeting feels like, and how much support workers carry that never gets recognised.

I also use a wheelchair, and have since I was ten. So I've been on the other side of support too. I know what good support looks like, and I know how much it matters. That means I'm not going to judge you for finding it hard. It's a hard job.

Your privacy and your employer

This is the question I get asked most by support workers, so I'll be clear.

If you book counselling with me privately, your employer doesn't find out. I don't contact them, and nothing you say gets passed on. The only exception is a serious risk to someone's safety, which is the same for any counselling client.

Because I work in the NDIS, there's a small chance we have a work connection. We might share a client, or I might work with the provider you work for. If that's the case, I'll tell you in the free chat and we'll decide together whether I'm the right person for you. If I'm not, I'll help you find someone who is.

How it works

You can book counselling with me the same way as anyone else.

Sessions are $110 for 50 minutes. You don't need a referral or a diagnosis.

You can see me in person in Cairns City on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, or by phone, video or text anywhere in Australia. Evening sessions are available on weekdays, which helps if you work day shifts.

If you're not sure, start with a free 15-minute chat. You can ask questions and see whether it feels right before booking a full session. If you're nervous about it, here's what happens in a first session. You can book here or text me on 0423 763 712.

You can read more about how I work on my individual counselling page.

If you need help now

If you're struggling right now and can't wait for an appointment, call Lifeline on 13 11 14, any time. You can also call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. If someone's life is in danger, call 000.

You spend your working life looking after other people. It's okay to let someone look after you for an hour.