What Happens in Your First Counselling Session
This post walks through what a first counselling session actually looks like, from the first contact through to the end of that first hour. I wrote it for people around Cairns who have been thinking about individual counselling but feel unsure about what they would be walking into. Not knowing the shape of it puts a lot of people off, so here is the plain version.
Before your first counselling session
Most people find me by phone, email, or the form on my website. There is usually a short back and forth first. You tell me roughly what is going on, I tell you whether I am the right person for it, and we find a time that works.
Before we meet I will send you a few forms. These cover your contact details, some basic history, and consent for how your information is handled. They take a few minutes. You do not need to write an essay. If a question feels too big to answer on paper, leave it, and we can talk about it in the room instead.
If you are coming in person, I will tell you where to go and what to expect when you arrive. If we are meeting by video, I will send a link and make sure it works beforehand. Either way, the aim is that nothing on the day catches you off guard. The first session is unfamiliar enough without surprises on top.
What we actually talk about
The first session is mostly about getting a picture. I want to understand what brought you here, what has been happening, and what you are hoping might be different. You lead. I ask questions to fill in the gaps.
I will usually ask about the current situation first, then a bit about your background. Not because I am building a file on you, but because things make more sense in context. You can tell me as much or as little as you want. Nothing is compulsory, and you will not be graded on how you explain it.
Somewhere in that first hour we will talk about what you want out of counselling. Sometimes people know exactly. Sometimes it is just a sense that something is not right and they cannot put their finger on it. Both are fine. Part of my job is helping you put words to it.
I take some notes during the session. They are private and kept securely. I will also explain how confidentiality works, including the few situations where I am required to act, such as when someone is at serious risk of harm. You will know where you stand before you say anything you cannot take back.
Do I have to share everything in the first session?
No. This is one of the most common worries, so it is worth saying plainly. You are not expected to unload your whole life in the first hour. You set the pace. Some people say a lot in the first session and feel lighter for it. Others say very little and take a few sessions to settle in. Neither is right or wrong. Trust takes time, and I would rather you feel steady than pushed.
If I ask something you do not want to answer, you can say so. That is useful information for me too, and it does not cause any problem at all.
How long it lasts and what happens next
A standard session runs for about an hour. The first one can feel like it goes quickly, because there is a fair bit of ground to cover.
Near the end we will step back and look at whether this feels like a fit. Counselling works better when you feel reasonably comfortable with the person across from you, so I would rather you be honest about that than book in again out of politeness. If we agree to keep going, we will talk about how often to meet. Weekly or fortnightly is common early on, but it depends on you and what you are dealing with.
You are under no obligation to book a second session on the spot. Some people want to go away and think about it, and choosing the right person matters more than booking quickly. I have written more about that in my post on how to find the right counsellor near you.
If your first session is online
For a lot of my clients the first session happens over video rather than in a room. It works better than people expect. You need a quiet spot, a device with a camera, and a connection that holds up.
The session itself runs much the same way. Some people find it easier to talk from their own home, especially at the start, when a waiting room can feel like a lot. If you are outside Cairns, telehealth means you can still see a counsellor without the drive in.
What I notice with new clients
The thing I see most often is relief. People walk in braced for something formal or clinical, and what they find is a normal conversation with someone who is listening properly. The nerves are usually gone within the first ten or fifteen minutes.
I also notice how many people say afterwards that they wish they had come sooner. Reaching out is the hard part. In Australia, about one in five people experience a mental health condition in any given year, so if you have been weighing this up on your own, you are in very ordinary company.
None of this means counselling fixes things fast, or that one session sorts everything out. It does not work like that, and I would be wary of anyone who told you otherwise. What a first session does is give you a clear, honest sense of whether it is worth carrying on. That is a reasonable thing to want before you commit to anything.
Closing
If you have been thinking about seeing a counsellor in Cairns and the unknown has been holding you back, I hope this makes that first step feel more ordinary than it seemed. Counselling is here if and when you want it. You are welcome to reach out through the contact page on my website, and we can find a time that suits you.
Written by Allan Bunyan, CPCA. Counsellor at Strong Foundation Support, Cairns. Allan works with adults and young people aged 14 and over, in person in Cairns and via telehealth across Australia.
